Why I don’t talk about being vegetarian.
Also, yes, shock-horror. I am a vegetarian, and I have been for three years now. Unless I’m cornered into an awkward food-related arrangement, it’s not something I tend to open with when talking to people. This is because it tends to inevitably lead to the question of “So, why are you a vegetarian, Alice?”
In conversation, there are rarely things that I am hesitant to talk about. But when faced with this question, I legitimately shut down a little. There are so many different ways I could answer the question, and I am always hurriedly trying to pick the reason that will allow everyone to move on the quickest and without any further discussion.
As a child, I was probably what most people would refer to as a “picky eater”. I’m not talking about someone who doesn’t like the occasional food, I mean that I probably could have counted the foods I would eat on my fingers. I think this was probably very stressful for my parents, as it was even stressful for me a lot of the time. Because it wasn’t so much that I was just a brat and refused to eat what I was given, but for some reason I couldn’t actually perceive what was in front of me as something that was supposed to be eaten, would taste good. In retrospect, I think I was mostly just highly suspicious of anything with more than three ingredients. A childhood of guilt trips (thinking about the millions of other people in the world who were starving just made me feel guilty and inadequate) and stressful social situations didn’t fix this. Thinking about having to eat meals outside of the home (school camps, scout camps, sleepovers) was always a nightmare for me, as I was always forced to either justify my weird eating habits, or pretend I wasn’t hungry/ate earlier and go without food at all. My ever-patient parents eventually convinced/reassured themselves that eventually I would “grow out of it”, just like my aunt had when she was young. For many years I lived off rotational dinners of instant noodles and crumbed fish with only one kind of vegetable on the side.
Funnily, and while we’re still on this note, not too long ago, I discovered an information page on something called “selective eating disorder”. Before we go on, I have never been diagnosed with any form of mental illness or disorder in my life. I am also aware that reading fact/symptom sheets of illnesses on the internet can turn even the healthiest people into massive hypochondriacs, but I just want to say that although this may not necessarily be something I actually have, but a lot of the factors match up. The social anxiety, the paralyzing inability to just eat something that you logically knew was safe, as well as the fact that I do not look or weigh unhealthy. Especially the part where I still haven’t really grown out of it.
At the end of high school, I decided to become a vegetarian as a new years resolution. I’m pretty sure my reasoning then was just to “see if I could”. I was quiet about it though, and for the first six months or so only my family was aware of it. Eventually I settled into the idea, and since then I haven’t really looked back.
I’m not even going to pretend that I’m educated about being a vegetarian. There are too many facts and arguments to consider, and I just haven’t taken the time to properly formulate my own opinions on the matter. I have of course read a few articles here and there, as well as Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. The book in particular was a good experience, because it suddenly made me feel like at least one of my choices had the potential to preserve the environment and the welfare of animals. But before anyone points out, I am aware that the world is never going to stop consuming meat, and the industry is unlikely to be taken down by a few overly-conscious individuals, but the main idea here is that if I don’t like it, then why should I have to be a part of it?
But anyway, that’s a lot about why I actually am a vegetarian. Here’s the main reason I am hesitant to tell people, or talk about it:
I’ve found that despite the many people I have met and talked to who are accepting of vegetarians, many people tend to get angry or defensive about it. I’m not really sure why this is, but my wild guess is that they’ve become familiar with a stereotype of vegetarians who try to impose their views on others. Because of this, they tend to attack before they can be attacked. My other guess is that people are just jerks. Because if I don’t eat meat, and I don’t lecture you about not eating meat, then I don’t see how it should be concern. I’ve had to deal with a lot of “If you say its to ‘not hurt the poor animals’ I will punch you in the face” “Geez, really? Well at least you’re not VEGAN I guess”, etc. I find it funny that while I’ve never gone out of my way to try and point out the pros of vegetarianism to omnivores, I have often had people come to me and try and point out the cons. I recall one night in particular, sitting in a bar with a bunch of acquaintances. I don’t remember how, but the topic of vegarianism came up, and I shyly admitted to being a vegetarian. For the next half hour, the guy sitting next to me went on and on about how vegetarianism was stupid and unnatural from an evolutionary perspective, and how our teeth were “made” to eat meat. I told him that although I respected his views, I had my own, and I tried to change the subject. I just didn’t want to talk about it. But he still persisted. I don’t know if he was trying to convince me to become an omnivore after two years of being a vegetarian, or just enjoying his big rant. The guy on the other side of me even piped in, talking about how much he agreed with the other guy. I’m not opposed to back and forth discussions, but this was more on the side of an attack.
In the end, being a vegetarian is one of the best decisions I’ve made. Although it ruled meat out of my diet, my selective eating habits improved a lot. I became less suspicious of food, and was therefore more willing to try new things. I think it has actually widened my range. It’s taken a lot of stress out of food, because there are almost always vegetarian options at restaurants, and despite the slight social stigma, it’s often much more socially acceptable to be a vegetarian than to be a “picky or selective eater”.
However, although I know that when people ask me about the reasoning for my vegetarianism they are often just interested or trying to make small talk, I don’t have the energy to go into a full-detailed story as to why, and am certainly not prepared to have to defend and argue for my own choices. So this is why I do not talk about why I am a vegetarian.
